Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm Just A Notch In Your Bedpost.

You said we were friends. I remember that clearly. In fact, I remember telling you that no matter what happened, I wanted you as my friend. I wanted you around.

Friends talk to each other. So when I see you and try make an effort with you, you really shouldn't just ignore me and blow me off.

I'm not going to fucking try kiss you or confess my massive crush on you. You know. I've already done that. We've both already done that.

And yeah, i get it. Confusing shit right. Standing still, right? Deadly. I'm fine with that. Do what you want, deal with this however you like. But fuck, talk to me.

This friends shit is bullshit. Absolute bollox.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Changes I'll Hopefully Set In Motion.

I'm in one of my moods where I need to change some things. Just little things, for my appearance and my health. Just to make me feel better about myself, you know?

I'd like to lose weight. How cliche. I'm a teenage girl. I feel fat. Oh god, no.
But I don't feel fat exactly. I'd just like to have a little bit of a better body, you know? And I'm not gonna go crazy and starve, I'm just actually going to obey what I'm meant to be doing now anyway for my stomach- eat often, eat healthy and eat little at each time. And I have to start eating breakfast, so Ma picked up some cereals and stuff. I need to start drinking more water too, for my skin and to flush out my system of all the junk I put into it, not to mention to stop me from getting dehydrated coz hiya, I like alcohol. A lot. I hate our tap water though, I think it tastes funky. So maybe a lot of tea? It's got water... That could work, right? Someone let me know about that.

And other then that, I just want to take care of myself a little bit more. I walk into town sometimes, but I need to start doing something like that everyday. To burn calories and try and get fit, because as a smoker, I'm horribly horribly unfit. And I need to start removing make up each night, instead of whenever I remember, and using cleansers and moisturizer before I put on make up, and that. I keep getting outbreaks of spots at the minute, (Gross, I know!) and I'm really really self conscious about them. They look horrible, and they're all red and spreading and I haven't got a clue why I'm getting them so badly at the minute. So I just want to try and fix that.

Apologies for the shallow post, but I just want this to be written somewhere to actually make me do it.
Ri. x