Surrounded.

Everywhere I turn, there's couples. What the hell is this?

It makes me feel very alone.

And alone kinda scares me.

Because I Agree.

Those Five Minute Crushes

So, since the dream about Mr. Artsy, I can only expect an onslaught of "five minute crushes". (Who am I kidding? I already have one!)

At the best of times, I find it hard to like people. Even worse, I find it hard to really like someone. I have all these boundaries marked off, all these walls to break down, all this panic and fear that I'm going to get myself hurt again. Like hello. I just managed to put myself back together after Mr. Artsy and I broke up, I'd rather I didn't go down that road again for a while.

But when he's brought up, or I get a kick in the stomach of memories of him, or in this case, I get a horribly vivid dream about him, my "heart", so to speak, tries to protect me by showing me all the people I could be going for. Except they don't normally last too long as crushes, hence why I call them "five minute crushes". (Okay, so they may last longer then five minutes, but it sounds better then "a few days crushes" or whatever).

I'm too fickle. I can't stay on one person for a decent amount of time, unless they're really worth it- you know, if I can really talk to them, not become bored, "click" with them. I never make an effort with my "five minute crushes" because it's pointless. But I never really make an effort with my real ones either. I guess I'm just afraid of giving too much and not getting it back.

I'm sure sooner or later, I'll just lick my battle wounds and dive back in. But, not yet.

Dreamer, You're Nothing But A Dreamer.

Sometimes I think I'm just living in someone else's dream. And I have to pinch myself to ensure that this is all real.

It's a pretty weird feeling.

And You're Telling Me I Should Forget You...

I had a dream last night, involving my ex. We broke up 10 months ago.

In the dream we got back together, and I was happy. Then he dumped me for a girl I know, who I have no problem with in real life, but who I despised in this dream as she gloated in my face about having him.

It's not a big issue, and it's not the first dream I've had about him since the break up.

But it got me thinking; Do we ever really forget about someone we were that close with? Someone that we shared that much with?

Just Saying.

Boys are like beercans. You can throw them in the garbage or you can recycle them if you feel that way.

Or sometimes, your mother might find them in your back garden.

So Shiny, So New.

New blog. Fresh start. I had another blog, which I just abandoned over the last few months. But I need an outlet for my writing, to try untangle this horrible writer's block.

This may not be the most amazing first post, but I'm quite sick at the minute. I will get posting on interesting subjects soon, I promise.

Rii. x